January, 2009

Honesty in Birth Preparation

Last month I read a book by Elizabeth Noble called Childbirth with Insight. This book was published in the 80's, but has a great deal to offer birth educators of today.

One if the sections I particularly liked addressed the issue of being honest with childbirth education students about common obstetric practices:

"...instructors in the community cannot afford to discuss obstetric practices in ways that will aggravate local hospitals and obstetricians if they wish to fill their classes. One childbirth educator comments, 'Imagine if we told couples how it really was...perhaps we'd lose fewer teachers from our group.' No wonder many of these dedicated and enthusiastic teachers suffer 'childbirth preparation burnout.' They are caught in a triple bind. If they describe accurately how birth is managed in some hospitals, couples would become very fearful. If expectant parents anticipate a warm and flexible birth environment and find that such is not the case in the hospital they use, their disappointment is inevitable and bitter. If the instructors advocate childbirth without drugs or anesthesia and these are needed, parents may harbor feelings of guilt and failure."

The author concludes this segment of the discussion with a very potent and powerful message to birth educators:

"Each instructor must teach what she knows in her bones to be true. A dynamic teacher is constantly changing, becoming more self-aware. At the same time, couples must be warned that almost all hospitals and doctors have expectations based on the mechanical model of birth." [emphasis mine]

Fathers' Roles at Birth

Research has indicated that men at birth take on one of three roles: that of "coach" (20%), "teammate" (20%), or "witness" (60%). I've observed both in person and in birth films that this seems accurate. Many men seem to be likely to fall into an "observer" (witness) type of role during birth, instead of a more hands-on one. This can be disappointing to women, or to the men themselves, who pictured a more active role in the birthing process. Particularly in filmed births, I note the father of the baby sitting by a woman's bedside and holding her hand, or patting her back at most.

I recently finished reading a brand new book called Fathers at Birth by Rose St. John (www.fathersatbirth.com). This book greatly expands the role of the father at birth to that of "mountain" and "warrior." The mountain is strong, stable, calm, still, and supportive. The warrior is alert, responsive, focused, and protective of the birth space and laboring woman. He is there to serve.

In the opening chapter of the book, the author says, "If families are to remain strong, men and their roles as partners, husbands, protectors, and fathers cannot be considered dispensable or superfluous. both partners are diminished when the value of a man's contribution is marginalized, minimized, or not acknowledged. When the man's vital role during labor and birth is understood, both men and women are empowered."

I greatly enjoyed reading a book that explores and expands the role of men at birth. In addition to serving as a helpful resource for men who wish to be active partners in the birth process, doulas will find helpful tips and tricks in the book, and childbirth educators will find language and ideas for reaching out to and better connecting with the men in their classes. It is also a nice addition to any birth professional's lending library.

--Molly Remer